Please note, this is entirely fictitious, and any similarity to any guru marketers sales letter is entirely coincidental. Also, if you can't figure this out, there is no product, and no way to pay me money. This is parody, not reality, although it could be real if you got on enough internet marketers lists. BTW, you can sign up for my list, but please be careful when signing up for other peoples list.
Now to your regularly scheduled satire.